That First Kiss

That first kiss enveloped me,

consumed me,

Made me feel as though I had never been kissed

that this was my first.

I saw fireworks as I dug my nails in

moaning as your tongue caressed mine.

Giving over to you

all the fear and pain that I have ever felt.

That first kiss,

made me ashamed

for never before had I felt like this

never before had I loved like this.

That first kiss was everything that I could have wished for

it kept all the promises you spoke to me

it gave me so much more,

that first kiss……

it is how we start.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 24/17

My Day (It was not what I had planned)

I have friends who live with Fibro so this allowed me the insight I might not have to their pain. But as Kristin writes, her passion for her ideas and the causes she champions shines through. I wanted to share her beautiful words with others.

Kristen Ruchalski, Writer

Good evening folks,

So yesterday I spent the day driving around the region, attempting to flood the market with my resume. Instead, the rain flooded things! I didn’t get to stop at all of the locations I had planned, so I set out again today. One thing after another happened to let me know “today is not my day”. I decided to drive to one of the local libraries nearby where I was to search for a book to help with the paper I’m writing this week. Of course, they didn’t have what I was looking for.

What they did have was an awesome book sale!! And I got a ton of books, plus a tote bag to carry them. Of course, all funds go to assist with running the library, which is great. I did find a few books to borrow, but let’s see if I will get them…

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What Do I Do?

I get an hour for lunch every shift. I have to take an hour for lunch or 2 1/2 hours no matter what. I cannot work through my lunch because we are busy and I have work to do and than leave 1/2 hour early. So I do. And I live 5-7 minutes from the store. I have begun to come home for my lunches.

Many would be surprised to learn that I make myself a light lunch. I plug in my phone if it needs to charge and sit myself down in front of the computer. I check my email. I play games on Facebook. I listen to the silence. It is a wonderful thing. I do not answer my phone in this 50 minutes of free time. I think. And I ponder and lately I have been creating.

By nature I am a rather gregarious person. By career, I am a constant talker. Not a stalker although if you pique my interest I might peek around that corner of the aisle just to see what you buy. I talk for 40+ hours a week. Never mind when I run into someone outside of work. Dear lord you would never know that silence is something that I crave.

My brain overloads badly when there is too much noise. When I have no time to breath and everything needs to be completed but oh my god there are line ups! As you can tell I was a little short staffed today. I talk. And talk. And talk and everyone leaves a little bit happier and I am happy too. I made someone smile.

When I come home for my hour lunch it is to regroup. To calm my brain so that we can do the next 2 1/2 hours without my swearing at someone out loud. I will get everything done that I have to. While I do, a small portion of my brain is working on a poem I started this morning. Imagery is of a crazed clown. Not sure where that is coming from but I am going to run with it.

My silence is about to come to an end. Thus I must head back to work. I take a deep breath, grab my phone and out the door I go. I’ll be back because well the crazed clown wants to get loose.

Fantasy Love

Once I thought that I knew what love was

warm sugary feelings

Wrapped around me like grandma’s blanket.

But that is not love.

Love is………

arguing yet still accepting one another.

Love is……..

never seeing one another but know you are there

Love is…….

the ability to see passed your faults and moving forward.

It is not a wonder that love has passed on by

for I dream of a love found in books and fairy tales

Not the love that is really extended.

So I shall say so long and farewell

For I can no longer keep up this fantasy.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 22/17

Love Abandoned

When tomorrow comes so does the rage

the time I spent building

I huddle within myself

trying to come together.

I lost so much time, not being me

but being the mannequin you desired

Smart and cute I cannot maintain the facade

but allow it to fall and shatter.

What made me think I could play?

What made me think that I could endure?

Sick and silly love, that is what it does

turns you from the hero to the child that snivels on the floor.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 22/17

Love Failed

On the morrow when my heart is breaking

when the tears are filling mine eyes

I will seek for thee

in memory.

I will watch with wonder as once more

our love does grow so wild

I will watch with agony as we come undone

bitter in such defeat.

Once upon a time came to us

once upon a time we failed

Once upon a time winter’s snow did creep

and the blackness enthralled.

 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 22/17