I will be……

You watch me, standing on the edge of the abyss

not hearing, not listening to the words that you cry

I only hear the voices within me,

criticizing, mocking drawing blades across my soul

making me weep.

I lose myself in blackness and despair

I see no one in the mirror,

Just the shadow of myself.

And I weep, and I rage, but no one does keep.

With fragile thoughts and moonbeam whispers

I claw my way forward to the light

I will not allow the beast to claim me

I will not allow it to beat me out of spite.

Your embrace is welcomed and needed

but I feel your fright; to understand the devil I face,

One must be willing to see beyond the norm

and to writhe with the pain of history past

To subjugate yourself to loathing and misunderstanding.

But I stand before you, proud as I can be

I will not bow, I will not cower.

I will not beat this illness, for its claws are deep within

but I will learn to live with it, and maybe;

 

soothe it to sleep.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 14/17

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Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her early 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. A self confessed obsessive book worm I love for my son and my down time to read. I have a vast array of friends and cohorts who I will be writing about. I hope I can make people laugh or cry; be thoughtful and understanding. And I need to write so this will be my voice.

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