So Hard for Me

It is hard for me; to allow the emotions to surface

accepting, acknowledging, reveling in the pain

I am not that person, I stand on my own;

I do not need you to care.

Sobriety, so hard earned and yet tossed aside

not in a minute, a day or even a month;

but within a second.

When the reality of your life becomes too much

when the feelings, the truth is just so there, in the forefront,

that is when I duck and hide, I remove myself

because I cannot stand to feel the pain that is my history.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

March 30/17