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I look into your eyes unsure of what I see

for we share no love, no tenderness

Only lust. Only desire. Only time stolen

from the other that you love.

I know that you love her forever more

I have seen the tenderness with which you have held her

I have seen the desire, the mad lust

but not once have I seen the truth.

We are dirty and wrong, maiming those we love

but we cannot let go.

Your call to me should go to voice mail

but I answer with a breathless drawl.

I need you to release control, to flee

allow me the peace to be.

Such a sorry state we find ourselves in

no correction, no chance to survive.

You took my heart and scorched it.

You broke my soul in two.

I can live without you

but that does not mean I have let go.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 27/17

 

Antidepressants and Weight Gain

For me the struggle went in the opposite direction. My Abilify caused me to become gaunt and unhealthy looking. Now I am a healthy weight and friends and family are happy with me. I struggle a bit because I have always been super thin. But everyone is right, I do look better.

Depression Hope

Raise your hand if you take psychiatric medication and you are gaining weight.  Is this you?  This is true for me, definitely.  The struggle is real.  People in my social circles just nod their head in sympathy when I mention it.   However, I don’t think they really believe me.

Let me tell you a little bit of my story, and it will be clear how the Lexapro I’m taking is directly affecting my weight gain.

About six years ago, I was on three medications that were helping me live a fairly normal life.  I took Zoloft, Gabapentin, and Trazadone, plus some Ativan as needed for my anxiety attacks.  I was doing pretty well, with some relapses here and there with my depression.

But you know what?  I was fifty pounds overweight!  I could hardly stand to look in the mirror.  It was something that really bothered me.  I felt unhealthy. …

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