Staying Through

I try so hard to pretend

that the pain and illusions

they mean nothing to me

not in the grand scheme of things.

I try so hard to walk away

to let the grief and despair

become a part of my landscape

and not find a space in my heart.

I want to not feel

to not surrender to the pain

that spears through my being

when I think of you

and how you will go.

I was never suppose to fall in love

never suppose to see your soul.

We were together for a brief period

and it came to be so much more.

I lay in your arms,

silent tears soaking your skin

as we pretend that nothing is remiss

that this will not be the last time.

Why do I always want?

Why do I always fall hard for the men

that will only walk away?

Never staying through

to slay the dragon and find the princess

asleep in the tower.

I watch you walk away

never turning to see

the silent grey figure

standing with tear stained cheeks

my hand held out to you.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Oct. 29/17