I try so hard to pretend
that the pain and illusions
they mean nothing to me
not in the grand scheme of things.
I try so hard to walk away
to let the grief and despair
become a part of my landscape
and not find a space in my heart.
I want to not feel
to not surrender to the pain
that spears through my being
when I think of you
and how you will go.
I was never suppose to fall in love
never suppose to see your soul.
We were together for a brief period
and it came to be so much more.
I lay in your arms,
silent tears soaking your skin
as we pretend that nothing is remiss
that this will not be the last time.
Why do I always want?
Why do I always fall hard for the men
that will only walk away?
Never staying through
to slay the dragon and find the princess
asleep in the tower.
I watch you walk away
never turning to see
the silent grey figure
standing with tear stained cheeks
my hand held out to you.