rippling and folding
into every part of me.
chains of horror
around my soul.
my bemused mind
as I let go.
I now understand the root of my addiction.
I feel too much. I love too much. I give too much.
And when it falls,
when beneath the burden of my too muchness
that backlash of pain is overwhelming.
I recall now
the tears, the rage, the everything
that comes from this all absorbing pain of…..
Not being enough.
Not believing enough.
From loving too much.
From giving everything.
From my own fantasies.
Silly girl that I can be.
Yet as I stand within this maelstrom of sorrow
I begin to understand my strength.
I do love.
I do give.
I do feel.
I do not need to hide from these emotions.
For within them is the true me
the girl who still dances with butterflies
and loves with all her heart.
The woman who can finally accept
the joy that comes from giving her all
rather than fights it.