***In memory of Christina Helgason-Bryga
As I stood beneath the shower
my face turned into the stream
my mouth open in a silent howl
tears erased by the rain.
I could not understand
this piercing grief that I feel
the hollow where my heart once beat
until it suddenly dawned,
today was the day I lost you.
Today was the day you never had a chance
to say hello or good-bye.
Today was the day I held you silent and breathless
in my arms.
Every year I have marked your birthday
every year I have found ways to hide
to drink away the pain,
to ignore the sorrow.
Today I mourn you with all my heart
today tears flow without restraint.
Today is the day my daughter was born
today was the day she soared.