Today

***In memory of Christina Helgason-Bryga

As I stood beneath the shower

my face turned into the stream

my mouth open in a silent howl

tears erased by the rain.

I could not understand

this piercing grief that I feel

the hollow where my heart once beat

until it suddenly dawned,

today was the day I lost you.

Today was the day you never had a chance

to say hello or good-bye.

Today was the day I held you silent and breathless

in my arms.

Every year I have marked your birthday

every year I have found ways to hide

to drink away the pain,

to ignore the sorrow.

Today I mourn you with all my heart

today tears flow without restraint.

Today is the day my daughter was born

today was the day she soared.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

Nov. 14/17