Flawless

I like to believe that I have no flaws

that I can get through my day without tripping

without stealing away

to drug my thoughts, my pain.

I suck them back with greed

they calm the beast within

and I cannot tell

I cannot send him running

I do not have the strength.

7,10 at a time

anything to obliviate

this heart of mine.

I feel too much

I love too hard

I try to make it all right

for everyone

but myself.

This pain that I fight

I have no idea where it comes from

I only know that this is not the right way

as I flush the pills

once again.

I need help,

I need assistance,

I am not as strong as I make myself out to be.

I hold my hand out

a silent plea.

Do not judge my sins,

hold me and aide me,

for it killed me to admit this.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

Dec. 3/17