Colorless

They are all jumbled in there,

these mad emotions

defining my existence

from birth to death,

and all the years in between.

As a child I danced with butterflies

lived as elves did

in cities hidden within the treetops

where no harm could befall me.

As a teen I rode the tempest,

with lightening crashing

and thunder roaring,

becoming lost and broken

building a wall brick by brick

so none may hurt me.

In the first blush of adulthood

the dreams and wishes

still so poignant

and within reach.

Willing my heart to heal.

Willing to learn to love again.

Sands pass slowly through the hourglass

each second a million years of mine

as I live each possible life,

each possible love,

each possible fear.

I have cried and shrieked.

I have loved and laughed.

I have held death in the palm of my hand

only to become cradled in his arms.

Torn apart by mad love

Repaired by gentle love

Insanity breeding in my veins

sanity bleeding into my dreams.

Mad emotions

jumbled here and there

woven within the fabric of my being,

without them I would be colorless.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

December 16/17