Today was an emergency/required session that I called for last Thursday.
I am still processing and maybe for quite some time what is roiling up from within.
But I did want to provide a small update about myself.
Still cannot write much. I keep stopping and starting as I type and carefully consider what I am going to say. This is not how I write. I watch as the words unfold in front of me not even consciously aware of them, my fingers flow across the keyboard.
This is a week with T.
A candle that I purchased provides you with a message when it melts down. My message: You are worthy of your dreams.
Today’s session was about grounding. And coping without turning to alcohol or drugs. I am happy to admit that I have had no urge. Once I had a small blip that I managed to overcome with a stern talking to. Also I no longer want to self-medicate, I want to be healthy and happy.
I left my session calmer than when I had gone in.
I am exhausted. Physically exhausted, as in I want to have a nap. That though is a no no otherwise I will not sleep tonight.
I know that things are going to get better. I know that I am going to grow into a wonderfully happy woman. I know that I will start to write again.
There are no huge strides to be taken, no hurrying or forcing myself. I am slowing down and taking smaller steps. Steps that lead forward while letting me process all that I can as I can.
Sorry this is more of a list than any actual writing. But I needed to put something down to prove that I could. That writing was still there for me. I have already lost my ability to read I think that I would go right round the proverbial bend if I lost the ability to write.