Therapy #2

Today was an emergency/required session that I called for last Thursday.

I am still processing and maybe for quite some time what is roiling up from within.

But I did want to provide a small update about myself.

Still cannot write much. I keep stopping and starting as I type and carefully consider what I am going to say. This is not how I write. I watch as the words unfold in front of me not even consciously aware of them, my fingers flow across the keyboard.

This is a week with T.

A candle that I purchased provides you with a message when it melts down. My message: You are worthy of your dreams.

Today’s session was about grounding. And coping without turning to alcohol or drugs. I am happy to admit that I have had no urge. Once I had a small blip that I managed to overcome with a stern talking to. Also I no longer want to self-medicate, I want to be healthy and happy.

I left my session calmer than when I had gone in.

I am exhausted. Physically exhausted, as in I want to have a nap. That though is a no no otherwise I will not sleep tonight.

I know that things are going to get better. I know that I am going to grow into a wonderfully happy woman. I know that I will start to write again.

There are no huge strides to be taken, no hurrying or forcing myself. I am slowing down and taking smaller steps. Steps that lead forward while letting me process all that I can as I can.

Sorry this is more of a list than any actual writing. But I needed to put something down to prove that I could. That writing was still there for me. I have already lost my ability to read I think that I would go right round the proverbial bend if I lost the ability to write.

 

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

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