Bull’s Eye

T has been home sick for the whole week. Headache, stomach ache, slight fever and a cough. The first two days he slept 13-15 hours which caused me a great deal of concern. The cough settled in his chest, harsh and well, I have heard the sound before many a time coming from myself. Dug out the inhaler and he had to use it a few times.

Yesterday he was feeling better. As the day progressed he turned from the sweet sick hasn’t eaten a full meal all week, into the 9 year old doofus that is my son. The voices came back. The odd thing where he wrinkles his nose and curls one side of his lip returned. His appetite returned.

I made a top sirloin roast yesterday. When I buy roasts, I cut them in half as T and me cannot eat a whole one to ourselves. The amount of leftovers never gets eaten either so I am learning. 375 degrees for almost an hour. Should probably have pulled it out after about 45-50 minutes. Still as I cut it, the knife moved through it like butter.

Prepared T’s plate for him and set it on the table. Informed him that I wanted him to eat all of it. I knew based on the week that the likelihood of his eating a lot was next to nil so I had only given him a wee bit. I was getting my own plate ready when the following occurred between us.

‘Mom, where is my ketchup?’

‘Ketchup? With that roast? No you are not ruining it with ketchup.’

‘But mom it is just for dunking.’

‘T you are not using ketchup. Use the bbq sauce. There are three on the bottom.’

‘Which one should I use?’

‘The one that is open?’ I realized I had given him an out there so came over to the fridge and pointed to the bottom shelf. ‘There that one.’

I go back to my plate and suddenly T is having a little fit.

‘Mom, what, this was never opened! I cannot get the lid open. Mom, what is going on?’

He is muttering away as I walk into the living room. Shaking the bottle and trying to find the seam on the cap. I place my plate down and turn to look at him about to ask him to hand me the bottle and I would open it for him. Now I was really perplexed because it is a BBQ sauce that has already been open! Had he been so weakened by his week of illness that he could not get the lid off?

As I reach my hand out about to say just give me the bottle already I realize what he is doing. His thumb keeps sliding off the lid as he is trying to flip it open. The petulant look on his face ended it for me. I begin to howl. T is staring at me like I have gone insane.

‘Dude, it is a screw top not a flip top!’

If looks could kill, I would not be typing this up right now. I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. T was so not impressed with me. I was told that I was not funny in the least and I was to stop laughing. Little did he know that I posted it to Facebook and now here. Am sure that he will appreciate the humor once he is a parent himself.

For now I am rapidly becoming the ‘uncool’ mom which I am totally fine with. If this is any indication of what is to come, I am going to have a lot of humorous stories to write up. T may find right now that my desire to document the things he says annoying and so a mom thing. Yet, when he is older and time has done its work, he will be able to sit down and reread about his youth.

And I am pretty sure, that he is going to have a sense of humor which is a carbon copy of mine. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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