And Best Mom Goes To….

This is the blanket fort we have built. Yes I am insane because I have the sheet up and over the t.v.

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Double Sleepover Part Deux

Well last evening was an adventure and a half in our household. The boys were a little wild. I made farmer sausage for dinner. Now, since mom had her stroke three years ago and my own struggle with high blood pressure, I have pretty much eliminated the use of salt. I use Mrs. Dash products and if I am using salt it will be a small dash of Pink Himalayan. Well I ended up eating salad and T went for the corn only. The amount of salt was overwhelming. And though this would be an normal amount to most, it was as though we had dumped a box of salt on it before eating. As I am discovering that T does not want to eat the farmer sausage K-T pipes up that he too does not like farmer sausge. Now, I had just finished texting with M who said he would never leave here because he loves farmer sausage. I looked at him and told him exactly that. His response, oh yeah that is right as he pops another piece in his mouth. The kid cleaned his plate leaving veggies behind but eating all the farmer sausage.
The boys spent the majoirty of the evening rowing their boats, racing their cars, playing with lego. A few times I hollered out at them from my perch on my bed to watch it they were going to hit their heads on a) the floor in the kitchen b) the coffee table in the living room. I informed them that I was not going to spend my whole night in the ER because one or both of them have cracked their heads open. This only cut down on the shenanigans for a brief moment but they are boys. Incapable of thinking about the pain until it happens to them.
They disappeared into the bathroom and I heard giggling and splashing. I was not too alarmed as T often does this. Goes in and mixes a bunch of colognes, hand soap and Axe bodywash in the sink. Than he puts his boats or cars in there. Not entirely sure what that is all about as I try very hard to not go in there when he does this. The reason being that the cloying smell of the three mixed Axe colognes coat my tongue and the back of my throat. It is horrendous as it lingers there for an incredibly long time. Both boys are suddenly standing in the doorway to my bedroom (this is my sanctuary little boys are not allowed over the threshold) asking if they can have a bath. I inform them that this is totally inappropriate at their age and they trump me with ‘but we are going to wear swimming trunks.’
Okay so what harm could it cause if I were to say yes? I can see you all shaking your heads and asking if I have gone insane. Why on earth would I allow them to take a bath? Well for one they would be clean, cleared of all the chocolate smeared on their faces and they would not stink. Unless they reapplied the Axe. I was hopeful. A mother can wish can’t she?
I can hear them banging around in there and a few times I poked my head in to make sure all was good. The last time I realized they had taken two
St. Ives face washes (full) and used them in the bathtub. All of them. I may have had a small flip out. Did not raise my voice but informed T that his money was going to be used to replace them. I was a little harsher than I should have been. I can only use the banishment to my bedroom as an excuse. Lastly when I went into the bathroom once they were out, I realized that my brand new bottle of Wild Honeysuckle cream that I had not used yet was missing some. I stuck my head out of the bathroom waving the bottle and asking if they used it. Both boys adamently denied it.
We were all in bed by 10:30. I turned my phone off which is rare for me but I figured that nothing important would happen over night. Boy was I wrong. K was having a small issue and I awoke at 6 a.m. to discover 6 1 minute voice texts on messenger. You would be surprised what a woman could say in 6 minutes. I groggily sent a return message and said I would respond more coherently when I had some coffee in me. (As an aside the Ex sent me an apology last night which made me cry)
I am in brushing my teeth when I realize that there is a blob of cream in the bathroom sink so I go out with toothbrush in the corner of my mouth and the bottle of body cream in the other. I explained to the boys that I had them. There was a clump in the bottom of the sink. T looks at me and says but we did not use in the sink, we used it in the bathtub. I stared at him incredulously. Did he really try to get out of this on a technicality? Because I said sink and not bathtub? I laughed. (I had taken the toothbrush out of my mouth so they weren’t only hearing a mumble of words). I told T that he should be a lawyer if he was going to do that. And than I said that they should never lie to me. Stretch the truth. Twist it on a technicality. I will always find out. And as my son and adopted son I am always going to know when they are lying. Our relationship will be much happier without the lies.
I am busy pouring my coffee when I notice K-T searching in his bag of chocolates. I look over and ask what he is doing? He looks at me like I have grown two heads and says having chocolate. Like hell you are having chocolate at 6:30 a.m. your mother will never allow you to come and spend the night again! (My head words not what came out of my mouth) I said no way jose. In this household we do not consume pop or chocolate prior to noon. Than I asked if M would allow him to eat chocolate at such an early hour. To which (and I will hear all of you groan) his reply was well not if she doesn’t notice. I explained that that was sneaky and we don’t do sneaky. M hide the chocolate from now on. LOL  He tried again at 9 a.m., I have to give the kid credit for being persistent.
I love these boys I do. They have had another bath with swimming trunks on. Much slipping and sliding all over the tub. I could hear it. Finally went in and told them that they needed to stop it. Someone was going to crack their head on the faucet and that would mean a day spent in the ER while they awaited stitches. And once more I was not going to spend my day doing so. Are you catching onto the theme here? I do not want to spend my time in the ER because they are not thinking.   And once more  according to the law and M I would not be allowed to just dump them and run.
We will be going for a walk at some point today. Once it warms up. At the moment it is -13 Celsius and the real feel is -22. For you Southerners that is 8.6 Fahrenheit  with a real feel of -7.6. Also the boys will be learning to wash dishes. Clean the living room. Well maybe I’ll let the living room slide because they want to build a blanket fort and that is way more cooler than cleaning it.

Cake for Breakfast

Although this is technically the Ex’s weekend with T, we are doing a double sleepover (Fri-Sun) with his best friend.

His best friend is leaving next month for a trip to Maui with his mom. The boys are already planning how they will Skype with one another. This means that there is going to be nearly 4 weeks before they see one another again. Also as M is working tonight and tomorrow night it makes life easy for her. She does not need to worry about child care.

This morning we drove an hour one way to pick K-T (T’s best friend only way I can designate) up. We left the house at 8 a.m. Yes you are reading that right. For those of you who are not Canadian, it is a stat holiday. Everything is closed. Everything. Except small convenience stores, gas stations, etc. If T had had his way, we would have left at 7 but the gas bar did not open until 8.

To start T was playing his game on his phone. He was sort of talking to me but not much. Than he put his phone down and we talked. I told him about all the things that had been wrong with me when I was born/a toddler. Had to explain what a lazy eye and pigeon toed meant. Also how they had been corrected. Than he asked if he had had anything wrong with him at birth. So we discussed that.

The drive flew by as we talked the whole way there (barring the 10 minutes or so he was playing his game). I asked him if when things returned to normal were we still going to talk like this? And he assured me that we would. I tried to impress upon him how happy this made me and it was really important to me. He is 9 3/4 now (as he likes to tell me) so really he was more focused on getting to K-T and all the fun things they would do. We were only a few minutes from K-T’s so I understand the excitement.

K-T had been packing since 7:15 a.m. These boys are nuts. You would think that rather than seeing one another every other weekend that they had not seen one another in months. I mean the minute we entered the house they were yammering at one another. It is K-T’s birthday today and he is 10 so we also got to bring home the half bit of cake left over.

M suddenly heard that T had size 7 feet and looked at me. K-T has size 2/3 feet. I explained that T was 4’10 1/2″ and 105 lbs. M looked at me and asked how it was possible that there was a 30 lb difference between the boys. I told them to stand side by side. There is almost a foot difference in their height. K-T was disappointed until I reminded him that he came from short stock.

M found this to be an insult and informed me in haughty tones that she was average height for a woman. It was I who was the abnormally tall one.

On our drive home I learned that they were both planning to be WWE wrestlers. K-T wants to also be a NHL goalie and in the Army. As soon as he is old enough off he goes. T wants to also be a WWE wrestler as well as a singer and writer. He will only join the Army if he can leave whenever he wants. I explained not possible so I think the military career is a no go. There is never a dull moment with these boys.

Once home I was banished. That is right, I spent the better part of the late morning and afternoon in my bedroom. My door is open so I can see them and what they are up to. The Ex picked them up at 3:15 and returned them at 4:30 with bags of chocolate. For a brief moment I was able to chill in the living room. Once they returned I was asked to return to my room.

They have the best imaginations. So far, they have been wrestlers, each fighting their stuffies. The giant bear in the background on the couch is T’s opponent. You can’t see K-T’s gorilla. During these wrestling matches they have also been Tag Team Champions. As I sat here I watched as they pretend high fived their fans and held up their championship belt for all to see. (I tried to video but they moved out of view)

They have broken free from jail. What they were in for I do not know.

They have become detectives. T is looking for a yellow folder which had cartoons that he had created and brought home from school. He insisted that it was under the junk drawer. They searched high and low. I know I saw it but not sure where it went. I really think that I may have thrown it out during a clean up but there is no way that I am ‘fessing up to that one. They looked for clues.

Than they decided they were going to be writers. Hot on the trail of stories to tell the world. Both have made pretend lap tops to work on. They have opened their very own writing academy. I am eagerly awaiting the stories they will produce.

As of now, they are trying to decide what they should now do. T is tossing his bear around. First hey decided on Mini Mono Wrestlemania. They crouch down and pretend to wrestle. Than they moved onto Truth or Dare. I am watching this from the safety of my room.

Eventually they will get hungry. Not sure why I cannot allow them to fend for themselves. Apparently though, M and the law assure me that I must feed them. Maybe just as I allowed them to eat cake for breakfast I will let them gorge on root beer and chocolate for supper.

306~Thank you

I checked my stats recently and discovered that I now have over 300 followers on my blog. I know some of you joined very recently. Welcome aboard to the Wonderful and Wacky world of me!

I appreciate every one of you for choosing to follow me. I am flabbergasted at times that people like my writing. I spent so many years thinking that no one would want to read my stuff. I am just being crazy. Turns out that I may know just a little bit about this writing thing that I have always wanted to do.

First story I wrote was about a dog that died and a squirrel guided him to heaven. I was 6. My mom got a call from my teacher who was a little concerned over my subject matter. If ever I can find it I may post for fun.

I ignored my creativity, allowed it to atrophy for so many long years. Now I am alive again and my creativity is bouncing all over the place.

So to all of you thank you for allowing me the privilege of writing for you all.

If you comment please leave a little note about yourself and your blog. Include your website address as well. This has been done on several blogs that I follow and I have discovered new writers whose works I am beginning to read and enjoy.

Again thank you from the bottom of my heart. Y’all are making a long held dream come true.

Youth vs. Gun Rights: Checks and Balances By Jacob J. Gamet

His arguments are concise and make absolute sense to me. Please take the time to read if you like.

Inmate Blogger

In the Washington State Department of Corrections (DOC), we have what you call Extended Family Visits (EFV’s). DOC 590.100. Prisoners who qualify for EFV’s are allowed to spend 1 to 2 days in an “on grounds” trailer visit with his immediate family members. In order to maintain his EFV privilege, a prisoner must submit to routine strip searches and urine analyses (UA’s) before and after his trailer visits.

For security purposes (introduction of weapons, drugs, etc.), DOC highly scrutinizes offenders who come into direct contact with their family members. Strip searches and UA’s are just two of many security measures taken to ensure the prison’s integrity isn’t compromised. For just because a prisoner passes one strip search and UA without issue doesn’t mean he’ll pass the next.

Each strip search and UA, among other things, is conducted as a checks and balance. First, it checks prisoners for contraband and their…

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Desperate Reverie

With desperate reverie
I swim the seas of my life
hoping I will reach the buoy in the distance
before drowning in sorrow.
Nightmares and fears
bleak and barren
they follow me across this land
where am I going?
When will I find the sunrise
that claims my soul
that clears my mind
that eases the pain that clings
like sticky strands of webbing
holding me in place.
I crave peace
I crave happiness
I crave a life that can be lead
with assurance and confidence.
I stand upon the mountain top
staring at the expanse before me
snow covered tops
green valleys beneath.
Here at last I can take a deep breath
I can finally believe
that the best is before me
and the past has been laid to rest.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen