Mourning

**Picture is my own taken at Matlock Beach Mantioba**

I guess that I will never learn

to not give away my heart

to keep it encased

keep it locked away

so no one can hurt me.

When tears creep down my cheeks

and kleenex litters the floor

I chastize myself

for falling once more.

I thought I learned my lesson

years and years ago

only to discover

that I have not

as I lay here curled in a ball.

I no longer have the wherewithal

to text or converse with you

you have torn my heart

stomped it beneath your shoes.

I think that going forward

I won’t allow myself to feel

instead I will watch as lovers walk

holding hands

and mourn for you.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen