Indifference

Some days will hurt more than others

with an indescribable pain

when tears free fall like diamond drops

hot and fast

salt on my cheeks

scalding my lips

like your kiss.

Drip drip drip

from my chin to the floor

head bowed beneath the misery

pulled tight with each heartbreak

screams muffled by the pillow

lip bitten to keep me silent

so that I cause you no dismay.

I keep it all hidden

I keep it locked away

I keep it in my heart

I keep it from your eyes.

I want not to cause you pain.

Sorrow you have given me

not with malicious intent

but with indifference.

Indifference to my love

to the words that I speak

indifference to the hand I hold out

an offering for you to keep.

Never doubt

my heart does bleed

emotions taut

love

my love

I shall speak of no more.

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

April 29/18

Believe

Coffee wafts through the air

senses becoming alert

no time to feel despair

no time to stop and relate

life is such a busy state

never a chance to recall

the missed times of childhood late.

Love

Misery

Divorce

Life

Reboot

Recall

Re-love?

Sunshine and swing sets

parks and long walks

children laughing

corn fattening

this is what memories play.

Work

Bills

Lawyers

Alcohol

Drugs

Fall

Get up

Give up

Come clean

Reconnect

Re-dream?

Cabin in the summer rain

war played on the carpet

memories that do explain

all about happiness.

I am not as lost as I feel to be

I am not as unfounded

ungrounded as I view myself. 

Within me lays the strength of the Titans

Within me lays the power to be

Within me lays the well of hope

all I need to do is believe. 

©Jay-lyn Doerksen

April 29/18