I wish….

I wish that there were more hours in the  day. To accomplish all that I want to accomplish. (Work, exercise, clean, down time, read, write, did I mention clean?)

I wish that I would not feel the need to nag and nag and nag. To allow T the space in which to grow. (But at 18 he is released into society and I do not want to let out a caveman)

I wish that I was able to read each and every blog that I follow. To interact and connect with all those wonderful writers. (There are so many I feel I neglect)

I wish that I was able to carve out more space in my life. To allow others entry. (This though means letting them passed the facade I have created to protect myself.)

I wish that I was more confident. That I did not sometimes (always) undermine my worth.

I wish…..I wish…..I wish……

I wish that I would not feel guilty when I failed to accomplish all the above.

Because really I am doing the best that I can. 

Photo via:

http://zerowastenews.org/Cartoon-Section/cartoons.html

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

22 thoughts on “I wish….”

  1. I understand your frustration completely, fibro/fatigue, means I’m always chasing my tail. But one or two things that help me include having a “to do” list, and prioritise the list in order of importance, take regular breaks (15 mins even to recharge – step outdoors, breath, daydream). Be kind to yourself and accept that you are not superhuman and drop everything to give your undivided attention to listen to your children when they are talking to you. Just deal with today…The chores and worries will still be there tomorrow!! The fact that you worry about how you are doing means You are doing a great job!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. I did do one thing that I felt was really weighing me down and that was telling my boss that I was stepping down from my managerial position. In doing so I have relieved myself of a great weight and it allows me to free up head space. With head space free I am able to concentrate more on the things that are most important to me. And it will also give me the ability to ‘create’ more time in my day as I no longer need to worry/think about work stuff. 🙂

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  2. Here Here! Right now I am debating my teen as to whether his body is really his body (its 8th grade promotion tonight and he needs to shower–the first time this month) and I have come to the conclusion that it is a lot cause. He will change though…they all do. My dishes stay in the sink until I am ready. Yeah, others would say I am a slob…lol. I accept it. There are not enough hours in the day to be everything to everyone. I used to stress over it, like my mother, but that really only lasted a year or two. Unless someone could be injured or lose a life, nothing is really so important that it can’t simmer a while. There is a slew of things I *should* be doing, but here I am telling a stinky boy he will shower, writing, and feeling the breeze come through the open window. I know eventually I will stop debating about his shower, and take him for a walk or listen to him tell me about the anime he’s watching or game he’s playing. That is what really matters. I say focus on the fleeting moments, because a dusty house will always be there. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. If wishes were horses…..you are doing all the right things. Remember you cannot tackle everything at once. You know what your priorities are. Do I sense a creeping in feeling of lack of confidence? Where is that coming from? Love you

    Liked by 1 person

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