Inner Strength

No one ever saw the tears that fell
no one ever saw her sorrow
no one knew the pain inside
for she would never acknowledge.
She was strong for herself
she steeled her heart
she stood tall
she braved the wicked waves
with a glint in her eye.
When the bedroom door closed
and all are asleep
she curled within
letting the pain seep.
She had to be strong for herself
no one else would be
she had to stand tall
show the world she would not cry.
Behind doors fastened shut
emotions contained were let loose
and she felt……
the pain
the fear
the anguish
the anger
the hate.
Screams that were stifled
by day
were released at night.
She felt.
She felt it all.
She fell to her knees
for strength only goes so far
until it becomes too much
and strength is not enough any more.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
May 26/18
Photo by MMPR on Unsplash

Twisted Twins

The first time I saw her

she hung overhead

an apparition in a dream

that I woke from

in a cold sweat.

The second time I saw her

was from the corner of my eye

a movement in the window pane

as light bled from the sky.

The third time I saw her

was from the mirror on the wall

a visage just like my own

only colder

crueler

and with less joy.

The last time I saw her

I was pressed beneath the ground

mouth open in silent screams

as the doppelganger took over my life.

 

Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 26/17

Cycle of Life

I use to sit upon your knee

while you braided my hair

and whispered of your dreams for me.

Held your hand when I was scared

watching you chase away the monsters.

You took the backseat when I learned to drive

through this journey called life

letting me soar and learn on my own

even when the mistakes were fraught.

Now the time has come

the page has turned

and it is I who must care for you.

I hold your hand when you whisper in fear

I comb thin hair once so thick you despaired

I watch as you pull away from me

moving backwards into the heaven’s light

knowing that you have no regrets

you have lived this life

the way you always dreamed.

With tears shattering on my cheeks

I say my final good byes

I am once more that little girl

needing her mother to hold her tight

and remind her that this is the cycle of life.

Jay-lyn Doerksen

May 26/18