How do I know?

Truth or dare
how do I know you like me?
Question and answer
I am sure you already know
so I smile naively.
Serious though
pensive
cannot figure out
what I see
what I want
when I have no need.
I said adios
to my lovers of the past
telling all
that it would be unfair.
Unfair of me to continue
to reach out
kept in the wings
as if already admitting defeat.
There is one way
that will tell you
exactly how I feel…..
I cleaned my car
vacuumed
dust wiped
all in case
you might see the inside.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 30/18
Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash
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History Repeats

Pails of gold

filled with

silver of the sheep

counted with

fingers tinted green

with greed

with madness.

Voices raised

passion made

‘hear me and obey’

struggling out

from heavy hand

roaring with rage.

Emphatically

denounce the tyrants

fists raised

statements made

never to be blind again.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

 

 

Pain Abates

My heart breaks in two
as I say goodbye to you
when all I want is to stay.
Time has come
to be on my way
no longer waiting
for you to chose, her or I?
Moving forward
taking a chance
the chance I gave you
rebuffed
left to cry
my heart settles heavy
farewell my Prince Charm.
I wanted once more
to be held in yours arms
to feel your body’s heat.
Not meant to be
you left me
scarred
tears stinging my eyes
howling with pain
crumpled in a ball.
I rose above it.
I chose to be strong.
I will love again
as my heart is not made
to be left unheld.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
June 29/18
Photo by Shashank Sahay on Unsplash

Cock-A-Doodle-Do

You have to wonder

do they really understand?

Do they see that disdain grows

disenchanted taking hold

smiles to sneers

or no?

Are their egos so large?

Is vanity thy name?

When all give reign

to the cawing rooster

bowing in servitude

there is not a wonder

that all you find

is dust

grey and gritty

filling obtuse heads.

Photo by Jairo Alzate on Unsplash

Found

Swirling

dipping

filling me with fear.

Giddy

silly

filling me with laughter.

I do not understand.

I do not comprehend.

You came out of the night

when I least expected it

when I was least looking for it

although I am unsure

what ‘It’ is I am searching for.

In your eyes I find desire.

In your arms I find comfort.

In your kisses I taste no regrets.

This plethora of emotions

they have made me undone

like a teenager head over heels

in love.

Photo by Dan Musat on Unsplash

 

 

Thought #11

Saying good-bye to the one you love will tear at your heart, and make your eyes flood. Time, fifteen minutes or so and the ache is just that an ache. You always know that one love, the one love who will never be yours. And for me, that was you.

Photo by michael podger on Unsplash

Deleted

Tears of crystal submission
burn my cheeks
blinding my sight as I face you
the truth you are holding up.
I created a man
of fiction.
The love I felt
an illusion.
It does not make it easier
in fact
if anything facing this facade
makes me want to hide.
How could I have been so blind?
I am strong enough.
I have learned enough about myself
to know that I am dear.
Watch my ass as I walk away. 
I will stand true
not allow myself to falter
accept a small penance of pain
than move on.
Would you like to know
in 2018
how a woman moves on?
She deletes all your texts.
©Jay-lyn Doerksen
March 4/18
Picture via: https://www.pinterest.ca/aaliyapatel746/minions/?lp=true