I am not exactly sure what is going on with me. At first I thought that I was morose. Than I looked up the definition and no that is not me. All I can say is I am feeling a little off. And it has not just been one day, no this has been going on since Monday.
Monday I slept in as late as I could before getting up and getting ready for work. I worked at 8 so what I really did was skip the workout, breakfast and coffee. So let’s put my mood down to that.
Tuesday. I got up at 5. Worked out, was ready to go before I even woke T up at 7. Yet still the feeling prevails.
I know something is off because truthfully, I am not my fun loving bubbly self at all. I can barely muster the energy to talk to customers at work.
I thought that as Monday and Tuesday were grey gloomy rain days, that that was all it was. I mean, T and me we fought again yesterday morning but now, I shrug my shoulders and lock myself in my bedroom. It was my fault for his shoes being wet as I made him walk home in the rain on Monday. Yep, evil mom that I am he had to walk home in the rain.
I can look for every excuse but there are none. I cannot explain what this feeling is other than off. I want to weep. I want to lay here cuddling my pillow and sob. But why? That my friends is the elusive question. I have no reason to be feeling down or sad. Work is great. My friends are great. T, well T is T. He is good when he wants to be and no so good when he doesn’t want to be.
My poetry is going well. I have no complaints there.
I want to cry. I want to be held while I cry. For no real reason but that I need to cry. Long hard sobs where I am gasping for breath and unable to speak. I do not know what is causing this giant hole I just know that I feel it and it is there.
I do not want to fall down the rabbit hole. I want to get back to the me I have been for the last while. I am sad. I am going to go and lock myself in my room and cry. I am sorry for being so depressive this evening when of late I have been on cloud 9. Hoping that this will pass soon.
Take care Jay!
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Thank you
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😊🤗
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This too shall pass jay.. Hugs
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Thank you
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Stay strong! Life always has its downs, but there’s always the ups to look forward to ❤
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Thank you so much. This is coming out of left field after nearly four months of being ok. I appreciate your support. 💖
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This is a nice post. Thank you for sharing. Please check mine as well – https://www.markmyworld.me/2018/06/13/lets-talk-about-depression/
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Thank you I will.
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You might be missing someone you don’t know or that pillow needs to turn into your crush 🙂 i am a hopeful (not hopeless) romantic, hence the hint… Tsk…tsk
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Lol Thank you am not sure about that. ☺
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No harm in trying to visit your nearest bar or maybe an anonymous chat with someone on online dating apps. This world is full of possibilities for the explorer.
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