Vile Voices

I think

no I know

that you do not really understand

what my anxiety does to me.

I do not need you to hold my hand

I do not need a night time of chatting

but I do need

a good morning

a good night

maybe just a simple smile

for when I hear nothing

my heart begins to crumble.

I realize

that I am strong

independent

able to carry on.

What most do not realize

is the voice that hisses

bitches

rips me apart

telling me that

for some reason

I am just not good enough.

I am sorry to be so needy

to need assurance

I just need to be told

all will be okay.

I trust you

I love you

I know that you will not abuse

yet… 

please understand

for so long

I was debased

I was shattered

when those who loved me

turned away.

You need to realize

I am not always strong.

Every once in a while

I need to be held

be told

that you love me indeed

as I love you.

All I am asking

is for your understanding

of the vile voices in my head.

November  13/18