Vile Voices

I think
no I know
that you do not really understand
what my anxiety does to me.
I do not need you to hold my hand
I do not need a night time of chatting
but I do need
a good morning
a good night
maybe just a simple smile
for when I hear nothing
my heart begins to crumble.
I realize
that I am strong
independent
able to carry on.
What most do not realize
is the voice that hisses
bitches
rips me apart
telling me that
for some reason
I am just not good enough.
I am sorry to be so needy
to need assurance
I just need to be told
all will be okay.
I trust you
I love you
I know that you will not abuse
yet… 
please understand
for so long
I was debased
I was shattered
when those who loved me
turned away.
You need to realize
I am not always strong.
Every once in a while
I need to be held
be told
that you love me indeed
as I love you.
All I am asking
is for your understanding
of the vile voices in my head.
November  13/18

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

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