Queens of the Crowd

I know what she is like
the little girl inside of me
when hurt
sad
in pain
she hides. 
I work so hard
to not be whiny.
I work so hard
to not be so needy.
I work so hard
to keep the smile of my face
but some days
it is harder than others.
This is the nature of my disease.
No excuses
not going to deny
depression
anxiety
they are the Queens of the crowd
I
merely the jester
on bended knee
forever in their sights.
Before I would not allow myself to feel
pills used to numb
to kill
what was going on inside of me.
I no longer do that.
I allow myself to feel.
Wearing my heart on my sleeve
giving my all
sometimes I am going to fall.
When I do
go kaboom that is
reach out
talk to me
hold me tight
let me know that I will be alright.
November 22/18

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

9 thoughts on “Queens of the Crowd”

  1. Hey Jay-Lyn…
    I nominated you for the question tag that I published today…
    I can’t figure out how to copy the link on the device I am using…
    but it is in a post called something like “Who Would Have Thought Questions Could Be So Much Fun?”

    Liked by 1 person

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