There is a lump in my throat
panic filling my body.
I cannot breathe.
Were you to see me
you would never know
the thoughts rearing through my head.
There was no good morning.
No hello.
No good night.
Immediately that voice
sneering with derision
begins to babble in my ear
how I could have fucked up
between last night
this morning
this afternoon?
(when has it every worked?)
I close my eyes
to erase
to cease
to freeze
the voices inside my head.
Deep breathe.
Neither help
to collapse the pit
forming in my stomach.
Logically
I do know that I am a fool.
Emotionally
the voice hisses
reaping
gorging
breeding
on my fear
my worries
my tears
self-doubt making me crawl
within my own skin.
I remain quiet
not wanting you to know
suffering the dark voices
tears slowly seeping
from the corner of my eyes.
***I originally wrote this September 6/18.
I reworked it today to include the Word of the Day Challenge
Dubious.***
You wrote this so well Jae-lyn. I think that even in the most secure relationship we experience many moments just like this. Why is that? Why do we, strong independent women, end up being such a mess in relationships?
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I wish I knew. I am reclaiming myself though and hear me roar. 😂😂❤
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There you go! 🙂👍
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I got lost for awhile lol
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Like most of us Jae-lyn!
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I think no matter how independent we might think we are, we are made to rely upon each other. And, unfortunately, we rely upon people who hurt us. And it’s so sad because I’ve seen so many people continue to hurt themselves over these people who’ve hurt them. A double whammy…
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Yes it can be difficult to find strength but I grabbed it and am climbing out.
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Outstanding!
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Thank you 😊
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“self-doubt making me crawl
within my own skin.” these lines hit me. you express the whole dynamic within your poem so well.
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Thank you. 😊
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Good evening Jay-Lyn l have just tagged you in my 321 Quote Me Game Topic Celebration of Life 🙂
https://aguycalledbloke.blog/2018/11/23/321-quote-me-celebration-of-life/
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Thanks Rory will do tonight. 😊
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Okies Jay-Lyn 🙂
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😊
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You do this so well Jay!
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Thank you. 😌
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You are welcome!
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