I am not a Killer

As I was showering Sunday morning I suddenly realized that I could never kill someone……and get away with it.
First off is that it is a crime. It comes with jail time. It comes with infamy. No thank you. And orange makes me look so sallow.
Than I would dither about how I would kill them. Do I use a knife? A gun? Rope? Hammer?
My poor victim would be staring at me in horror as I was trying to figure out which weapon I wanted to use.
Than do I want to be up close and personal or from a safe untainted with corruption spot elsewhere?
(This is how I will kill them-death by indecision.)
So I have gotten this far what comes next?
The clean up.
And you know you never ever get all the blood.
You would be crawling around on your knees, microscopic eye trying to detect the slightest spatter of human matter.
Clean up would have to be done with the black light and than you find out what else is all over that room. (Gross need I say more?)
Too talkative. I like to talk. I would be remembered.
‘Yes officer I am sure that is the one. She would not shut up for a minute.’
I would by and large leave enough DNA evidence it would be unbelievable. I shed copious amounts of hair.
As I watched my hair go down the drain I realized that I would need to get Drano or something soon.
Which lead me to than think about today’s word radioactive.
What if when I poured it down the drain a giant hairball came to life.
Than I thought I would get T to do it. However there is some law that says you cannot put children in danger. Not even if it is to fight off a radioactive hairball.
So there you have it. Why I could not commit murder and get away with it. But I am a writer mwahahahahaha I will kill you 100x on paper.

Thank You

Battered my shields
rent free
creating a gap to crawl through.
I tried to keep you out.
Scars ripped anew
promises made
no one will hurt you
whispered in my ear
as fear paralyzed my body.
I cannot believe.
You wore me down
demanded that you know all
swore to me
were I to open up
you would not leave
as all the others did.
I opened up.
I gave you my history.
My dreams.
My nightmares.
I laid my soul bare.
I trusted
despite that voice.
The one screaming at me.
Telling me
you were laughing.
All I was…..
a joke.
Woked the hell up
sin danced before
paraded
no love lost
for no love was had
only convenience.
How could you do this?
I am not strong.
I am no Valkyrie.
I am a broken woman.
Pieces scattered
always one missing
never whole
shattered glass
broken hearts
why did I let you in?
Let you open that door
make me feel
make me dance
only to rip the rug out
from beneath my feet.
Spinning
spanning
tell all the tales you need
to assuage your guilt
even as you scream at me.
Demanding I beg
forgiveness
yours to give.
Ummmmmm……..
Well now…..
I am sure
that I had not hand in this.
I did not guide you into her.
I did not stand there
waving a whip.
‘Should ye not perform
I shall strike thee
with this cat o’nines.’
Self deprication.
It tis myself
I should be flaying
for having fallen for gilded tongue.
This blackened carcass
yours to feast upon.
My heart
melts in your mouth
tainting smooth words
no one shall listen.
All they will hear
is my desolate moan
crying out
realizing that the words
not the actions were true.
Fuck you.
Fool
I am
am I.
No one to blame.
My romantic heart
re-locked
re-caged
steel reinforced
wire wrapped around
never to be loosed again.
Thank you for that.
December 1/18
Picture is mine taken Summer of 2017