Life After Brain Surgeries

This woman is phenomenal and I am proud to call her a best friend. She has gone through a lot but has persevered and is slowly getting well. However she often does not allow others to see her pain or tears because she fears it makes her look weak. This is her open and honest tale of brain surgery.

Kristen Ruchalski, Writer

Yes, you read that right. Surgeries. My one planned brain surgery turned into 2 brain surgeries, several procedures, and 3 hospitalizations. I never planned on this.

I realized, after chats with my bestie, that people only see what I allow them to see. I post on social media with updates and I always seem so positive and upbeat. What people don’t see are my breakdowns.

I breakdown at least 3 times a day. Sometimes more. Songs that used to give me strength now make me weak. Things, simple things, I can no longer do make me feel depressed. I realize my body needs time to heal. Twice as much, if not three times as much as I planned. And that’s frustrating.

From time to time I discuss my pain, but more often than not, I’m reporting my pain free days. I don’t discuss my nights without sleep due to pain…

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Always You (Love Poem)

Standing along the shore line

tiny wavelets licking my toes

mauve

purple

golden

the sunset.

I see you in the distance

walking towards

my heart skips a beat

as I know

I will be in your arms tonight.

Inspiring me

promoting me

encouraging me

helping me

to be the best woman

the one you know exists

beneath the bluster

fear

and pain.

Loving

trusting

desiring

lost within your eyes.

You are my first thought

my last thought

every thought in between.

When good things happen

you are the first to hear.

When bad things happen

you are the first to know.

Love walked in

slamming that door open

banging it against the wall

at a time when

I was so sure I was broken.

So many times

so many chances

fate keeps getting in the way.

I run to you

water splashing

caring not as I get soaked to the skin.

You gather me

picking me up

as we do a silent dance.

Within your arms there is hope.

Within your heart there is love.

Within our future

a story to be built.

Always you.

Forever.

Eternal.

A flame burning bright.

Always it will be you.

December 5/18

Picture is one of my own taken Summer 2017