Life After Brain Surgeries

This woman is phenomenal and I am proud to call her a best friend. She has gone through a lot but has persevered and is slowly getting well. However she often does not allow others to see her pain or tears because she fears it makes her look weak. This is her open and honest tale of brain surgery.

Kristen Ruchalski, Writer

Yes, you read that right. Surgeries. My one planned brain surgery turned into 2 brain surgeries, several procedures, and 3 hospitalizations. I never planned on this.

I realized, after chats with my bestie, that people only see what I allow them to see. I post on social media with updates and I always seem so positive and upbeat. What people don’t see are my breakdowns.

I breakdown at least 3 times a day. Sometimes more. Songs that used to give me strength now make me weak. Things, simple things, I can no longer do make me feel depressed. I realize my body needs time to heal. Twice as much, if not three times as much as I planned. And that’s frustrating.

From time to time I discuss my pain, but more often than not, I’m reporting my pain free days. I don’t discuss my nights without sleep due to pain…

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Always You (Love Poem)

Standing along the shore line
tiny wavelets licking my toes
mauve
purple
golden
the sunset.
I see you in the distance
walking towards
my heart skips a beat
as I know
I will be in your arms tonight.
promoting me
encouraging me
helping me
to be the best woman
the one you know exists
beneath the bluster
fear
and pain.
Loving
trusting
desiring
lost within your eyes.
You are my first thought
my last thought
every thought in between.
When good things happen
you are the first to hear.
When bad things happen
you are the first to know.
Love walked in
slamming that door open
banging it against the wall
at a time when
I was so sure I was broken.
So many times
so many chances
fate keeps getting in the way.
I run to you
water splashing
caring not as I get soaked to the skin.
You gather me
picking me up
as we do a silent dance.
Within your arms there is hope.
Within your heart there is love.
Within our future
a story to be built.
Always you.
Forever.
Eternal.
A flame burning bright.
Always it will be you.
December 5/18
Picture is one of my own taken Summer 2017