Sorry

I wonder as I lay here
why do I do this?
Allow hope to enter my heart
when I know true
you are gone from me.
Wishing
butterflies in the stomach
maybe
you do want?
As I do?
Never shall I say anything
my words
stuttered
shuttered
tripping over stunted tongue
drop my eyes
so you do not see
do not understand
this kills me.
I suppose this is good bye.
I want you to be happy.
Eventually
time will tell
scars
memories
everything
fading
no longer painful.
What I would give
to feel your arms once more
to see the light in your eyes
to feel safe……
I’m sorry.
December 19/18