Figment

I lay within my lover’s arms
attending the steady heart beat
held tight against the midnight storm
of nightmares 
and drooling beasts.
A gentle hand does caress
pulling sheets close
a summer breeze
dancing over bare skin
as he tilts my head to kiss.
I see the love that shimmers there
I feel it in how he speaks
the low rumble of his voice 
within my chest
making me complete.
With eastern sky beginning to pink
I struggle to stay awake
but sleep does pull 
and eyes do close 
assured that I am safe. 
I stretch my limbs 
contented sigh
hand reaching out to feel…..
cold space is all I find
as you are nothing…..
A figment
a dream slipping
a fantasy 
a man unfound
except 
within the imaginings  of my mind.
 
January 31/19

Untitled Relationship Poem #5

***This poem was written last year during Nov/Dec period. Reworked today***
I allowed it.
I allowed you
to maim me
to bite me
to shred my heart.
There was no breaking in two
it disintegrated.
pain unlike any…..
Any…..
Do you see that?
Any…..
I had felt before.
I stood beneath full moon
lashes glittering with tears
unable to comprehend
bewildered I am
for you seem to be blaming me?
It took a bit
but colors bleed true
slashes of fabric
please release me.
All told me
your actions
are louder than words.
Never thought it true.
You have proved me wrong.
I regret
having thought you were different
that you were…..
maybe Prince Charming…..
my own love story…..
when all you are is a farce.
I do not regret
having allowed you into my life
though you made me bleed
opened my heart
learned I could love
find the right partner again.
Too bad
So sad
Guess you have no one to blame.
Oh wait
Yes you do
Yourself
While I…..
I learn to be free.
January 30/19