Pathetic

You are not him.
Not the fool you play.
Jester
all will laugh
never noticing
tears 
unchecked because
none of them love.
I feel sorry
babe I really do.
Guess why.
I loved you.
I would have done anything
for in your light 
grew
yet 
joke I became
derision 
all I feel
for what you have done.
Your loss
our loss
for once
I truly belived
I had found my soul mate.
The man who understood me
who let me be me
who encouraged me
who read my poetry.
Blinded by tears
I have to break free.
I have to run.
Otherwise
I will wait…..
I will wait….
I will wait….
pathetic am I.
 
January 3/19

Warrior Queen

I hear you.
Knocking on my door.
Black beast
gaping jaws
come to eat me. 
Awake
Must stay awake
for than 
the monster cannot get me
Right?
Awake I stay
Hidden from his gaze. 
Wait….
you are the monster.
reach into my brain
pull it out
wrench free 
emotions of any sorts.
Flip free
no longer in pain
wearing a Cheshire grin.
Slow dance
reel to reel
flames in my heart
broken 
shattered.
Fuck you.
I am done little boy.
I ain’t playing no games
I am a woman
I know my worth.
My worth is more to me
than your weight in gold.
I know who I am
I know what I want
I got lost
but now am back.
Warrior Queen
Renegade
I am the Godess.
Hopeful once more
of treasured dreams
lipstick love
baby doll schemes
anything I can dream of.
 
January 2/19