Untitled Relationship Poem #6

I realized
standing at the kitchen sink
hands steeped in water
I have not dealt with
the pain you caused.
Drinking too much
I have hidden
drowned
my sorrows
so I did not look it in the face.
Sight blurred
tears dripping from my chin
I felt pain.
howl ripped deep
shattering me
staggering to my knees.
I lay sobbing
memory after memory
rushing
streaming
flying
from heart to mind
too many to categorize.
Crawling to the bedroom
pulling myself into bed
I pull your pillow close
wrapping myself around
inhaling your scent
feeling summer heat on my skin.
Alcohol infused soul
hidding
hidden
hid
behind blackened void
where once my heart was.
Prayers never worked
yet I mutter your name
over and over
rosary beads through my hand.
Slices
carmine lips
shattered smile stitched across my face.
Eyes blooded
removed
no need to see
fact
I will always come back to you.
Feb. 12/19

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

2 thoughts on “Untitled Relationship Poem #6”

  1. This almost reads like someone who longs for a faith long lost. I’m not sure if that makes sense, but it’s very much feels like my own experience with that. Either way, it’s beautifully expressed, J.

    Liked by 1 person

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