Forgotten History

Sat upon greed
mounds of disregard
tearing down 
bowing down
coward
liar
cheat.
No longer running
bunkering down
building a wall
around his nest
believing
trusting 
that this would not be his last stand.
Door crashing
heavy boots
baby cries
swatting
waving
screaming denial
while 
everyone stops to stare.
Behind bars
terror turns……
hatching
devising
a new tomorrow
once he received his release.
Watched the world did
crazy
deluded
nuclear melt down.
When last lock snicks in place
turn forward
forgive
never forget
for there will always come
another who blusters wrong.
Feb. 18/19

To Math or Not to Math……

How I ruined T’s life……again…..
Received an email from T’s teacher. He has been struggling to learn math. Understanding the formulas etc. Has not engaged with the help that has been offered to him. Was completely unable to answer questions on last math quiz because he did not understand. Well I sent a note back saying that she should send work home for T and he and I would work on them. And if the work did not make it home with him I was more than willing to pick it up from the school.
Waited for T to get home. Had sent the email to the ex but have heard nothing back from him.
‘Hello.’
‘Hey buddy how was your weekend?’
‘Good. Yours?’
‘Good. We have to talk about your math T. You are not doing well so Mrs. S is going to be sending work home with you.’
‘I am not doing homework.’
‘Yes you are.’
And it began. Drama King came out on his white charger. Surly Boy reared his head too and the attitude poured off of him.
How could I ruin his life like this? Did I not want him to have any fun? And how is it fair that the school can just email the parents? Why can they do that? They should not be able to email parents like this! He went on and on and on. I sat here staring at him calmly. At the end of his rant he went to pick up his bag with the Xbox in it. I stopped him.
He was not getting his Xbox not with that attitude he was throwing my way. But moooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm…….yeah no.
So he goes into his room and begins to kick things around. Throwing things and banging on his door. Until I told him to stop it. At which time he asked me if I had any boxing gloves? Why? I asked (not that I do) He wanted to punch his bedroom door until he broke it. Is this normal boy behaviour? I am not a boy so I really cannot say. Again yeah no.
Chores. Do the chores and maybe I will let you have your Xbox back. Without attitude. Some stomping of feet, muttering under his breath, half-assedly cleaning the cat litter box and feeding the cats. Stared at me while I contemplated……contemplated……..would he like some honey garlic wings if I made some? After a suitable amount of fear time (this is the amount of time one can stall whilst giving child heart attack that you may change your mind) I told him he could take it.
I made the wings. Told T that they were ready and if he wanted some he had to come out to the living room. He did. Sat next to me while we watched some show.
‘Mom I am sorry about earlier.’
‘I know you are and thank you for saying so. You still are going to have to do the homework with me.’
Sigh of disgruntled disgust. We start tomorrow when we get home from his dad’s. There will most likely be a lot of cursing and hair pulling. That of course is just myself on the inside as I work with T to understand these concepts. Wish us luck folks.