Never Again

I hear you.

Chirping away at me.

Chirp.

Chirp.

Chirp.

First time you lied 

should have known better

should have shown you the door.

Second time you lied

I crossed my fingers

hoping that you were done.

Third time…..

Well damn girl…..

I was just an idiot

so lost in lust

I could not see straight.

My desire for you

my obsession with you

all consuming

eating away at me.

Back and forth I go.

Do I love you?

Or do I not?

My lack.

My confidence

gone to black.

Fed your ego

made you so tender

basked in my adoration

how does it feel

now that I am gone?

I saw you.

I see you.

I miss you.

I no longer need you.

Love you still.

Protecting my heart…..

shielded…..

shackled…..

lost

caged…..

found

in your hand or mine

shall never know.

Forgiving I am.

Wiser.

My worth.

My knowledge.

Myself.

Never again

will I forget

who I am

who I am meant to be.

Never again will I lose me.

 

March 2/19

Photo by Holly Mandarich on Unsplash