Choices

Explain to me please

how it is so easy for you 

to hurt me.

I gave you my all

my everything……

I fell in love with you

I thought you loved me too

but I discovered

only one heart was true..

Sure as hell wasn’t yours.

So…..

that means

it was mine.

Fragile…..

Broken….. 

Bleeding…..

Abused……

I loved you

(damn it I love you still)

I gave you my heart

you threw it back

as though I was a joke.

(I am in such pain)

I cry

tears 

sobs

heart wrenched free.

I want to be

yours again.

I want to have…..

sense of security

sense of pride

sense of being wanted.

You have fucked me

so badly

yet I cannot stop.

I will love you forever

in my heart.

Tears spill

no matter how hard I push you away

your memory

your touch

I am lost in you……

let me go

pull me near

just please

make up your fucking mind.

March 3/19