Never Again

Awakening

time has ceased to spool

forward

backward

all gone

there is only now.

A now

filled with pain

filled with darkness

filled with sorrow

and rage.

This box I am in

not one of my own making.

Thoughts

ideas

imposed on me by the will of others

nothing I can say.

I am not the sum of everyone

I am not the sum of those people

who are trying to corner me

rip free the freedom

the relief that I have found.

Reverting once more

into that small hurting girl I use to be.

Fear becomes a constant companion

causing me to wonder:

have I reverted in reality

or merely seeing the mirage of truth

that others feel is real?

I know this is false

this is not who I am.

Fuzzy headed

drugged

sedated

try to take the hard won freedom

this life I have built for myself.

I will fight 

I will win

I am never going back there again.

©May 24/19

Picture via Pinterest found by The Eclectic Contrarian