Never Again

Awakening
time has ceased to spool
forward
backward
all gone
there is only now.
A now
filled with pain
filled with darkness
filled with sorrow
and rage.
This box I am in
not one of my own making.
Thoughts
ideas
imposed on me by the will of others
nothing I can say.
I am not the sum of everyone
I am not the sum of those people
who are trying to corner me
rip free the freedom
the relief that I have found.
Reverting once more
into that small hurting girl I use to be.
Fear becomes a constant companion
causing me to wonder:
have I reverted in reality
or merelyย seeing the mirage of truth
that others feel is real?
I know this is false
this is not who I am.
Fuzzy headed
drugged
sedated
try to take the hard won freedom
this life I have built for myself.
I will fightย 
I will win
I am never going back there again.
ยฉMay 24/19
Picture via Pinterest found by The Eclectic Contrarian

 

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

28 thoughts on “Never Again”

    1. Thank you very much. I am also in awe that people read and enjoy my poetry as I spent years denying that I was a poet. Once I realized I was the words returned where once there were none. I love writing and poetry. I love being able to tell stories through them as well. Thank you so much for your kind compliments.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. The struggle to find the self is a challenge, especially when past images have painted a false picture and there is torment in escaping from that picture. Talking with others can often help, especially when you discover the challenges are not as uncommon as you might at first think. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ โค

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well……… youโ€™re borderline beautiful..

        You one horned old horse ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

        Liked by 1 person

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