Not for You

You wrapped me in silk
pampered
loved
put me in the clouds
made me to feel as Queen
when in reality
I was only a cheap stopping place.
Fantasies
rose colored glasses
hunger so deep.
I needed to be made to feel
as though I was the first
the only choice.
One made with thought
insight
understanding
do not make promises you cannot keep.
I was not…..
First.
A thought.
You never saw inside of me
read the print of my skin
heard my truth.
I became one more in a long line of……
acquisitions
notches upon the bed posts
fool that I was
thinking
dreaming that I was your last one.
Rage
black
boiling
searing blood
sizzling in my veins
head thrown back
screaming in vain.
Love has turned…..
from sunshine blossoms
a wiping of my mind
of my memories.
So long
goodbye
never again will I cry.
Not for you.
©June 11/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

2 thoughts on “Not for You”

  1. Very much an expression of anger at being used and that, of itself can be abuse. The frustration and anger that builds and rage too when you had believed for so long it was not so. A really powerful piece of writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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