Healing Self

Carving a path
eking out a space
a place
that I can call my own
where I can sing my songs
where I can dance with abandon
where I can finally be me.
Cowering within
so long
never a moment’s peace
little girl wailing
screaming
where no one can hear
except for me.
Hungry
wanting to consume the pain
agony
torturous
writhing on the floor
desperate to escape the chains binding.
Voices rise up
pointing their fingers
reading me their wants
their desires
which
should they be at cross purpose to my own
shall be placed first.
Desperate to escape
using any measure found
alcohol
drugs
knife held to my veins
needing to let the venom out.
You found me
struggling
alone
on that street corner
the one between Hell and Hope.
I found safety.
You nurtured me.
You fed me.
You healed the physical
yet are unable to breach the walls
of my mental psyche.
Walls built
tough to tear down
never do I let others in.
You…..
you have found a way in
you have found a way to peace
you have given me my wants
my needs.
You have taught me how to heal myself
never shall I forget this.
 
©June 22/19
Picture via Pinterest
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Cherish

Blinded.
I lost myself
my truth
allowing you to encompass
swallow me whole
until the end
chewed up
spit out
bewildered at the sudden death.
I forgot who I was.
Thought I had been yearning for you
truth is though
I yearn for what was perceived….
I loved you once.
I thought you were my final stopping place. 
I thought I had finally found home.
A dream
poor little princess
needs to be saved 
needs a knight to make her whole. 
The idea of you
the potential
the man I know is inside of you
tears gather
falling
forever saddened you shall never see
never know him.
Sweet poison lips
I shall miss.
Lies
sugar coated darts
I remember my worth.
I am a Queen.
Sacrifice myself no more
I remember now 
how to roar.
©June 21/19
Picture via Pinterest

Unexpected Hero(ine)

When do people notice?
When do they stop?
When do they finally see…..
pain
agony
black death
spreading across lands
decimating
not only the small
the weak
even those with the mightiest roars…..
silenced.
Sonnets of love
written with the prose of politics
serenading maidens false
doweries
impossible to keep
promised…..
in return
sell away her maidenhead
highest buyer wins.
Debase
degrade
demean
truth
honesty
justice
punch lines in a joke
the world does not yet get.
Flacid
immune
passive
society bows.
Who will rise up?
Who will take lead?
Who will prove their worth
knocking down those
who play at being almighty?
Save the lost maiden
blinded
restoring virtue
value
purity
mayhap all is not lost?
In the forest
none can see
for looking at the trees
came a hero
(heroine)
unexpected
unreceived.
 
©June 20/19
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Word of the Day Challenge #36 (Untitled Poem)

Living in this depraved world
daily barrages
wars
drugs
police acting judge and jury
politicians lining their pockets.
Children are starving  
just down the golden street.
Women live in fear
travel in groups
doors triple
no
quadruple locked
gun slept with
under the pillow.
How safety is felt.
Beware the false prophet
fired lies spun
dissenting loyal men
made slave to their own desires.
This is intolerance.
This is ignorance.
Not the same color?
Speak a different language?
Have different customs?
Live life differently?
Love
belief in goodness
values
morals
all fast disappearing
beneath a consumer race.
Facing fear daily.
For every sin contemplated
for every corrupt desire played out
for every child burdened
for every woman abused
for every man beaten
evil is winning
painting a picture of utopia
where all are the same.
Repentance
no longer viable…..
no longer is there a way
to check this slow descent into hell.
Nourish the demons
all shall pay
watch the world slip away.
©June 19/19
Picture found on Pinterest

Dearly Behated

Dearly beloved
we have all gathered here today…..
Oh wait
you did not gather?
How then do you come to be here?
Smart.
Yes
you thought you were so smart
none would realize
seduction of the mother
grooming of the daughter
slaughter of their souls.
Snake in the grass
fatal venom
(not poisonous)
a slow black death
consuming one
draining one
devouring beauty
radiance
perverting
sweet innocence.
Ah yes
called you I did 
fool that you were
you came
running as it were.
Each friend
scored
seared
ate away a small part of me
self worth
belief of self
me……
Love came to me
bottled
rolled
snorted
how else to escape the howling demons
seated
place of prominence
forefront of all thoughts
pernicious bastards
devouring my heart.
Sit you down
clamp down on your tongue
screaming is not allowed 
watch watch watch
the knife is waiting
make a sound.
The first time you sold (soiled) me
beaten before and after
made to deal
with heartache
with screaming agony
with piercing horror
became the cobblestone
laid upon the grid of guilt
of a pathway leading us to here
the ultimate….
All roads end here
upon the crossroads of choice
where now you shall face
you shall bear
demons of hate
feasting upon your fear
your pain.
Dearly beloved
gather here we did 
not for beauty 
not for love
for resolution
of a burning of rage.
©June 18/19
Picture via Pinterest

Abide

Tip toe through the tulips
gripping your crown
see the clown dancing
swaggering
strutting
prancing
along the avenue
trickling bones
from his finger tips.
Furtive glances
side long smiles
see how they grin
believing
understanding
(or so they thought)
no one would see passed…..
Can can dancers
slight of hand
magic sparkles
thrown in the air
drowning
hiding
cloaking
dastardly deeds played out.
Wide mouthed smiles
banalities uttered
false truths waved around.
White flags
give unto the enemy
hand it over
freedom
currency spent
deposited into the coffers of aliens…..
whilst brave men
audacious men
fight for reality
fight for equality
fight for authenticity
fight to live life
fight to right the wrongs.
Wishes become horses
beggers do ride
time has come…..
Finally
all shall abide…..
©June 17/19
Picture via Pinterest

No Father of Mine

It is hard.
For those who do not understand
Father’s day
is not always fun and games
there are those who do not want
do not need
to have fathers shoved in their face.
There was no caring father
not a one in my life
he was duplicitous
alcohol his drug of choice.
Abusive
liar
set me on a path of destruction
killing myself
my heart
my truth
me.
Time came
retribution was mine to take
draw you in
tempt you with your choice
I am waiting behind the door
you will pay
for the pain I finally accept.
Daddy dear
I loved you once.
Daddy dear…..
I hate you
poison you
stab you
excise you from my memories.
Were you not dead
daddy dear
I would be sitting in jail
murder on the plate
thankful
the demons got to spend.
©June 16/19
Picture via Pinterest