Audacious
voice whispering in my ear
inside my mind
black
noxious
reminding me
over
time and time again
that no one loves me
no one really cares
that it is a farce.
Pulling the covers up
over my head
keeping the demons at bay
when really
I am paralyzed
with fear
anger
pain
rage
which keeps returning.
Every time that I think
that I truly believe I am free
that I have learned to control
to eliminate the damages done
I have not.
As I sit
tears rolling
slipping
from my eyes
desperate to assess
am I still sane?
Has my depression crept in
through the back door
to erupt
fully conscious
a boiling ebon beast
poised to sting
maul
attack
my sensibilities?
I do my best
always.
I let go of past pain.
Past hurts.
Past injustices.
I embrace my follies
my fallibility
my scars
trace a journey across my skin
etched in
reminding me how I am strong
how I can defeat
how goddamn it all
I can rise again.
I will not allow you to defeat me
wyvern
deep in the shadows
skulking
waiting
watching
for when my defenses are down
to strike.
I am stronger than you.
I am braver than you.
I will triumph.
I will never let you win.
©July 22/19
Picture via Pinterest
