Never Free

Often

I sit

alone

frightened

no where to turn

no one to trust

howling voices

heard only by me.

Baying my name

razor sharp

pin pricks

made to feel.

I fear

what those voices tell me

warn me

rip me

taunt me

feasting upon the dark of my soul

the black of my dreams.

My innocence

stripped away

I was left to fend

to care for myself

for who else was there?

Past haunts present…..

Present hurts future…..

seeds sown

doubts reaped

do not look at me

do not see the devil within

the one balancing on my shoulder

in my heart

in my mind.

The devil who whispers damning words

causing me to collapse

whimpers in my throat

scratching

screaming

why can I not be free?

I brood

memories

twisted

emotions

seared

nothing in my world makes sense

no words to appease the demons dancing within.

Rage

fuel to the fire…..

Why can I not be alone?

Why must the devil

the demons that reside within

gnaw on my pain

my anxiety

sating themselves

until the blackness rises again.

©Aug. 2/19

Picture found via Pinterest