Never Free

Often
I sit
alone
frightened
no where to turn
no one to trust
howling voices
heard only by me.
Baying my name
razor sharp
pin pricks
made to feel.
I fear
what those voices tell me
warn me
rip me
taunt me
feasting upon the dark of my soul
the black of my dreams.
My innocence
stripped away
I was left to fend
to care for myself
for who else was there?
Past haunts present…..
Present hurts future…..
seeds sown
doubts reaped
do not look at me
do not see the devil within
the one balancing on my shoulder
in my heart
in my mind.
The devil who whispers damning words
causing me to collapse
whimpers in my throat
scratching
screaming
why can I not be free?
memories
twisted
emotions
seared
nothing in my world makes sense
no words to appease the demons dancing within.
Rage
fuel to the fire…..
Why can I not be alone?
Why must the devil
the demons that reside within
gnaw on my pain
my anxiety
sating themselves
until the blackness rises again.
©Aug. 2/19
Picture found via Pinterest

Word of the Day Challenge #47-Untitled Poem

Passive
I sit
watching
waiting
wondering
who will I choose next?
With whom shall I…..
ply
play
plunder
taking unto me a life force
never freely given.
Image
fluid
every changing
chameleon…..
I am not the same woman every night…..
I am not the same woman as was in your bed last night…..
I am not the same woman who woke in your arms this morning…..
I am…..
Your fantasy.
Your nightmare.
Your fancy.
I fabricate
prevaricate
feign kindness
desire
love
lust……
all to draw you in
close the trap
make you mine
locked in a box.
I utter the words:
‘Til death do us part.
None have lasted longer than a week
shall we set the clock
tick tock
for your death my dear?’
©Aug. 1/19
Picture cia Pinterest
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