Patchwork Girl

****10 Days****

Falling down

rabbit hole deep

lost in a swirl

of blackness

of pain

no possible way out.

Round and round I go

never ending carousel

riding the pony

reaching for the stars

out of bounds

out of my orbit

a dream unrealized.

When I look in the mirror

a cadaver stares back

blooded rivets in my skin

holding me together

pinning me as I am

no change

no feelings

utter blackness

a void where once my heart was.

Detached

looking at myself from afar

disgusted

deranged in my addiction

hurting body and soul

to hide

to unacknowledge the girl

desperate for release

for acceptance

for forgiveness

scratching beneath the surface.

Naked

on my knees

screaming my rage

frothing with murderous desire

I slowly reunite

each broken piece

knitted back together

until I become the woman I am…..

flawed

patchwork colourful

beautiful

healthy

growing

learning every day.

No longer do I fear.

No longer do I hide.

I am who I am.

Warts and all.

Accept me or not…..

I really don’t care.

© Dec. 13/19

Picture is my own

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