Lock and Key

****9 Days****
Blackened hearth
ashes cold
no warmth found
a loss of self
a loss of innocence
tears track through soot
silence round
staring endlessly into the darkness.
Morbid thoughts
death
destruction
voice raw from shattered screams
gasping air
unable to stop
convulsing as the ugly truth
rears its bloody head.
Alcohol
consumed in copious amounts
dims the light within
allows for wraith like movement
through my own life.
Grey ghosts gather
dancing around my bed
an exorcism
no longer effective
I am lost within.
Broken
death looking on
time has come to change
to embrace this self
amalgamate it to the new
creating a better me.
As time grows close
my festive nature
a joy to perceive
my demons battled
sedated
locked within a chest
for which I have the only key.
©Dec. 14/19
Picture via Pinterest

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

8 thoughts on “Lock and Key”

  1. I have been fortunate enough in my life thus far, to never have experienced the blackness that you describe. I have felt empty, I have felt hopeless but I have never fallen into the depths of despair, I consider myself very fortunate indeed. I admire your strength of will to climb out of that place and remain out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It was a battle that I fought for years and finally won. I say my real life began Dec. 23/17. And I will never look back. That woman was sad destroyed and running looking to silence those dark voices by any means. She is still a part of me but she only comes out in my writing now.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so sorry. No this is not how I feel. These poems are being created from my memories of that time two years ago. I am blessed or cursed depending on how one looks at it to recall exactly the pain and depths I had sunk to. Today I am in a great place and filled with joy and happiness. And I will never revert back to that old person

      Liked by 1 person

      1. this is wonderful to hear, thank you. You write from such a personal deep space that you will convince your reader that you are in the depths of every word. THAT is a skill and one you should be proud of. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you. I lived in such blackness for so long there is a wellspring I can draw from. I also write ‘story’ poems like my Good Jane/Bad Jane series I wrote. It took me a long time but I am proud of my writing as a Poet and Bard. (Lol am reclaiming that designation)

        Liked by 1 person

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