Blackened Husk

***At first I thought that this was going to become positive. It has not. This is not at all how I feel now. It is a recollection of how I felt in the days leading up to my big KABOOM! 4 more days***

Pallid specter

grey

anguished features

pain

unbidden

unwanted

would give anything for it to go away.

Discomfort…..

what all feel 

when I am present.

Lost

scarecrow straight

stride forward

look neither right

nor left

acknowledge nothing

so much safer this way.

Disquieted…..

easier to pretend

than to actually see

this…..

is what life has done to me.

No longer looking in the mirror

escape the penetrating look

disappointment

that I have not lived up

to the expectations

I force upon myself.

Malaise…..

bites deep

look away

hide away

draw knees in

protect yourself

no one else will.

Time has expired 

leaving me void

my reality

my truth

I hate to say it

but there is no moving forward.

©Dec. 19/19

Picture via Pinterest