Devil’s Bride

I am on fire
my own hell on earth
flames lick at the corner of my soul
and I know
the Devil awaits.
I tried so hard to be a good girl
the way I had been taught
how to pleasure men
while keeping my mouth shut.
I was sent in
listen and learn I was told
report back to me when you are done.
I loathed the man who called himself my father
he was no creator
no progenitor
that I would claim as mine.
Dressed as a whore
face made up with paint
alcohol to numb the pain
but only a little
because I had to hear and repeat.
All that was said
all that was seen.
Time passed
I hardened
becoming this vicious creature
frothing with quiet rage
desperation born of no one’s care.
My first victim?
Can you call the man who sold me
who beat me
who plyed my body as trade
a victim?
The next few
well they were a revenge
for having used me as a child.
The raping of my soul
black
lurid
hatred filled
left me a brittle husk
stronger than most
for I could pretend.
I see his shape rising
smell the brimstone and smoke
the heat of the flames 
sear my body 
yet I felt nothing.
I am evil .
I am rage.
I am revenge in the night.
I am the nightmare
that small little girl
who is going to run amok
razing
destroying
creatured in blood
cavorting in your dreams.
Time for me to dance
tempt
tantalize
to move as a shadow
become the assassin
I was bred to be.
Forgotten is compassion.
Forgotten is love
Forgotten is all that is good….
Within me
vicious anger ready to play
I sidle up in your life
the last thing you will see
before the knife slices into your heart
is my face
my smile
your living nightmare come true.
I have become his bride
he my groom
no campaign needed
hell he made home
allowing me a special place
in the gloom
to play with little men….
getting my revenge.
©Jan. 10/19
Picture via Pinterest

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

26 thoughts on “Devil’s Bride”

  1. Raw and real, dark and destructive, but underneath all that anger and shame small and defenceless sits and that’s when your reader feels her pain.
    Beautifully written and realistically portrayed. It made me cry for the child. xx ♥♥♥

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Generally, a lot of people have become much more cynical, self absorbed and surface in their view of life. If they haven’t gone through the trauma they are impatient with those who have. When a child such as the one you portray in your poem is left unprotected, they grow into the darkness they have lived in all of their formative years. Unless you can reach in and pull the child out, there is a real possibility that careless people in their future will feel the brunt of the small child’s anger, pain and shame. There is an even bigger possibility, it could manifest itself in a similar way to your vengeful woman’s actions.
        I’ve said this before about your work, it isn’t so much what you say, it’s the huge story you reveal between the lines. Sometimes when I read your poetry, I have to keep coming back to it to understand the deeper, hidden story in there. That’s why I love it so much. Thank you x♥x

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I am still uncertain what to say. Your compliment has thrown me for a loop. Everything you say is all I have ever dreamed of hearing someone say about my writing. That you can see there is so much more and it can be read so many ways with different outcomes puts a smile on my lips and tears of happiness in my eyes. Thank you. Your compliments humble me. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      3. can I give you my email addy? I would really love to be proper friends with you off here if you wouldn’t mind? Can’t come to your place, too far, too cold and I would probably get lost anyway, but we could chat via email. I think we have much in common and we love our boys like mama bears, both! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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