Peer Behind the Curtain

*******Preface this is not how I am feeling at all. I was reading another blog this morning when the words written struck a cord. This poem is a result of that. Describing the time leading up to the Kaboom of 2017*****

Look
how can she know
what it feels like
to be trapped
to be ensnared
in sticky strands
black anguish
struggle for freedom.
Look
not at the cover
what is beneath
scarred
cracked
broken
each piece
a little out of line with each other.
Look
see her smile
her joy in life?
Look
peer through black mimosa
see the child sized woman
wracked with doubts
demons
cackling
dancing around
a wicked game of bully be
from which there is no escape.
Look and see
bottles lined up
alcohol
pills
bitter retreat
dulled numbness
run from the past
from memories brutal and true.
Enough tears
enough pain
enough of everything…..
a bottle later
the voice still screams
shaking
unable to see
crying
do not let anyone come near
do not let anyone hear
leave it be
death maybe the only way out.
Look
found
love within self
truth within self
myself 
in the herself I use to be.
©Jan. 28/20
Picture is my own.

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

A single hard working mom of a soon to be teenage son. A poet and story teller I have wanted to write since I was a child. This space is where I share stories about myself and my life and the creative poetry that stirs my soul. My hope is you will pull up a chair and a cup of coffee delving into the world that I offer and you find simple enjoyment for a few moments. Welcome to The Wonderful & Wacky World of One Single Mom

11 thoughts on “Peer Behind the Curtain”

  1. Oh my goodness, have you looked inside my head woman? you could be describing me, how I felt 10 years ago, how desperately I needed to escape from everything that surrounded me and trapped me in these four walls. It was only one the boy who kept me sane and in the now. Thank you for this poem, it shows me how far I have come from the shadows that trapped me personally. xx♥xx

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  2. Beautiful image, glad you are in a better personal space. It is not easy to climb out of the hole. Escape the maelstrom within your mind that threatens our very soul. I stopped learning for awhile. Stagnation is death. Relearning I am born again.

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