Word of the Day Challenge #87-Untitled Poem

This is not in any way shape or form of how I am feeling now.

Black
welling to the surface
vicious
tying me in place
fear holding me
I want to come back
I want to be me
not this wraith you see.
In my mind
a vacuum
roiling
memories
painted scarlet with terror
recalling
half remembered dreams.
Or are they dreams?
Lost
moving listlessly
path before
shrinking
smaller and smaller
head down
I cannot find the sun
I cannot find the warmth
I reach for.
deadly in its recurrence
tearing me down
to the ground
driving me to perfection
if only so I am still useful
so people will still like me.

Cyclical depression can become.
Voices…..
sounding so like your own
chiding
tearing
roaring all your wrongs.
There really is no escape.
There really is no hope.
All I can do is carry on
smile upon my lips
fear upon my heart.
See not my pain…..
See not my terror…..
see only…..
the facade I show.
Β©Feb. 19/20
Picture is my own

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

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