Word of the Day Challenge #87-Untitled Poem

This is not in any way shape or form of how I am feeling now.

Black

welling to the surface

vicious

tying me in place

fear holding me

I want to come back

I want to be me

not this wraith you see.

In my mind

a vacuum

roiling

memories

painted scarlet with terror

recalling

half remembered dreams.

Or are they dreams?

Lost

moving listlessly

path before

shrinking

smaller and smaller

head down

I cannot find the sun

I cannot find the warmth

I reach for.

A cycle

deadly in its recurrence

tearing me down

to the ground

driving me to perfection

if only so I am still useful

so people will still like me.

---

Cyclical depression can become.

Voices…..

sounding so like your own

chiding

tearing

roaring all your wrongs.

There really is no escape.

There really is no hope.

All I can do is carry on

smile upon my lips

fear upon my heart.

See not my pain…..

See not my terror…..

see only…..

the facade I show.

©Feb. 19/20

Picture is my own