Mini Male Me

Today has been another day of laughter. So much laughter that I am crying.
I have to apologize but I do not have a picture to make it real but today Tember cleaned out his closet. I came home for my 3:30-4 break and Tember greets me at the door with:
‘Oh my god mom my closet is nasty. Nasty! There was a bug! It was huge! I think I killed it with Febreeze!’
‘When did it last move?’
‘Not for like 10 minutes.’
‘Pretty sure it is dead.’
‘Mom do we have rubber gloves?’
‘No Tember we do not.’
‘Mom could you buy some for me before I finish the closet?’
We than measured hands to determine what size I should buy. We settled on medium turns out he needs large.
He is now relaxing on his bed……tomorrow he will finish his room. You know what though he cleaned a lot up the last week he was here. He has done an awesome job so I am not pushing it. I will still pay him his allowance.
Today he had to submit a project about probability. I asked him about it and he admitted that although the teacher explained he still could not understand.
‘Tember probability is about the outcome. So if you do something what is the likelihood it will happen again? Or consequences.’
‘Mom so like if I were to go to Co-op and steal from them what is the probability I would be caught?’
‘Yes.’
He now understands probability.
I came home with rubber gloves for him. The good kind. The real rubber gloves. The ones that can be used over and over. Tember thought I was going to bring home the type of gloves that one finds in a doctor’s office.
‘No I bought the good ones.’
‘That is awesome mom.’
‘Now you can clean the toilet. No excuses.’
Last but not least…..and both Tember and I were crying from laughing.
Tember was suppose to take the garbage down and instead forgot and let me continue stuffing garbage in there. He asked me to take garbage bag out as he would spill it. When I did I realize I need to clean out under the sink. There is stuff. So I pop up for a cloth. There are three of them in the sink. So I ask Tember why there are 3 clothes in the sink?
‘Mom what are you saying?
‘Clothes.’
‘Say it again?’
‘Clothes.’
‘What are closs?’
‘Clothes…..the things you wipe with.’
‘Mom what is wrong with you?’
A lot my boy…..a lot.
Tember and me we laugh all the time. Like all the time. We both have the same sense of humor. LOL his dad’s girlfriend even told him he must have gotten his sense of humor from me as his dad is just not funny.
I will close with this:
Came home on my first 1/2 hour.
Tember and me we talk and joke around.
When  I leave I tell him that my next break is 3:30-4
‘Mom how come you have two long breaks today?’
‘When I am in customer service I get two half hour breaks..’
‘Mom how come you are only coming home for one break??????’
And I have been busted.
April 30/20

Black Market Jay

In the new reality that we are living in I have found a lot of things to keep a smile on my face and laughter spilling from my lips. Yesterday happened to be one of those days were it kept getting better and better. There was a lot of laughter.
Customer #1:
***Let it be noted I have spoken to this customer already once this week in regards to this.
Customer: Good Morning I was wondering if you could tell me if you have any 10 lb boxes of naval oranges in?
Me: No I am sorry we do not.
Customer: But you do have naval oranges in right?
Me: Yes we do.
Customer: And are they super juicy?
Me: I have absolutely no idea. I am not much of an orange eater.
Customer: Oh. Okay. Have a nice day.
I am often expected to know everything about everything.
Customer #2:
****Very obviously not one of our customers. You laugh but there is a difference in attitude and behaviour from those who are regulars and those who shop at the other stores.
I pulled a lady from check out #1 to help her.
Florist: Hi how are you today?
Woman: I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit. I cannot wait for it to be done so life can go back to normal.
Me: Were you able to find everything today?
Woman: ……..
She would not engage. She was a miserable angry woman. Which again made me see just how miserable I use to be. There is a vast difference between pre-Kaboom and post-kaboom Jay.
Last but not least Customer #3:
***Some of what I have added is humor I added when relating story to co-workers and things they added to it as well. However the conversation between myself and customer is exactly how it occurred.
I was standing at the customer service desk when I see one of my regulars coming up and I greet him.
Customer: I was told that I should come and see you about hand sanitizer.
Me: Ok if we do not have on the shelf than we do not have any in stock.
Customer: But I was told you knew where I could get some.
Me: No sorry. We have none in stock.
Now in my head I am thinking: Am I the black marketer of hand sanitizer? Why would I even want to do that?
Addition by co-worker: Headline will read ‘Jay arrested for selling black market hand sanitizer.
Me: Smaller headline ‘Door kicked in to Sanitizer Lab by RCMP’
Florist: Soon Jay you know you will be selling toilet paper, wipes, sprays, yeast out of the trunk of your car. Line ups around the block.
I laughed so much yesterday I had tears in my eyes. Humor is everywhere you look. It is all how you deal with it.
April 30/20