Mother’s Creation

Never read ‘The Babysitters Club’ as a teen/pre-teen. Netflix has a series. And I binged. Loved it.

As a parent I might be a little lax with regards to what Tember watches. He has seen both It movies. With his dad. He has watched American Dad. Family Guy. Bob’s Burgers. And I have no issues.

Lately though he has become hooked……on shows I watch……

He loves my show picks. Has no clue what his dad watches at all. Informed me today that it was impossible that I could always pick shows he wants to watch yet I do. Well now if this does not prove that he has my tastes I do not know what will.

Right now…..I am finishing up Ozark and he is watching……The Babysitters Club.

Today is different from when I grew up. Our shows now are divided into two areas of interest…….baby/young adult-adult/reality. I had innocence. It is not that during the ’70’s in my world there were no problems……I was not aware. Unlike today where everything and anything is put on t.v.

I do not have cable. I have Netflix and Amazon Prime. My interests range from historical to historical mystery (Murdoch Mysteries) to dark shows (Ozark-Better call Saul) to light musicals (Glee) to young adult (The Babysitters Club) I watch what I want when I want. And the child has same tastes.

I have forbidden Tember to watch one show. Sons of Anarchy. I draw the line here. I explained to him that it was situational……that it had to do with family…..ideals of family…..but the violence is graphic and I felt that it was not appropriate for him to watch. And he informed me that it was about a biker gang and he has no desire to watch/witness/see what the show depicts.

I know there are going to be those who disagree with my parenting style. We are all different. How we teach our children. What we want them to learn. What we are willing to let slide and what cannot.

Tember watching adult cartoons. Least of my worries. What I do worry about…..bullying….grades…..contentment….mental health…..kindness…..

All I want is to bring my child up to respect women. To work for his living. To not feel he is entitled because he is white. To be kind. Empathetic.  To stick up for those who are afraid or who have no voice. I want Tember to be better than me.

I realize these are huge ideals. That I am pushing Tember to be more kind than I am. No illusions. He bullied a boy at school but has become friends with him. They now play on-line video games.

When I received the email from his teacher…..I was livid. When I asked Tember about it he told me he knew I was going to be mad. He had spent all night thinking about it. When he explained situation I asked him to explain how asking if one thinks Minecraft is dumb or is ******dumb sound even similar. Tember raised his hand indicating he thought ****** was dumb. Told me he misunderstood the question.

I told him I was disappointed. That I had taught him better. That I had taught him to speak up for those who cannot/will not. He demanded to me what I would have done? No one would listen to him anyways. I looked at him and told him ‘Were you to have stood up and said no this is wrong. This is not how we treat others.’ Even if they did not listen you did the right thing.

Believe me I am not the best role model. I do not always practice what I preach. I do not always practice behaviour I want Tember to emulate.

What I do try to do is show Tember the world through kind and caring eyes. To see others before he sees himself. To be better than I am.

I have a beautiful boy. He has a kind heart. He is beginning to see the world around him differently. He is beginning to realize everything is not black and white.

My legacy…..giving unto the world a man who sees with his heart…..thinks with his mind…..using facts…..showing compassion and understanding. At least this is what I hope my legacy will be. If I can keep him from picking his nose in public….I consider that a win. LOL

©July 11/20
Picture is mine

 

 

 

 

 

Whispered Death

*****Please note this could be a trigger poem. It is about lack of self. Leaving life behind. While I have only once felt like this (when I was 15) it never really leaves your mind. This poem is in no way reflective of how I feel.*****

I stand
waves slashing
sky
pink blood
shed
as day wanes
into night.
Roiling spray
drenched grey
looking outward
seeing only the bad
nary the good.
Voices whisper in my ear
so subtle
driving me a little crazy
telling me wrong
telling me right
telling me so many lies.
One does not know
sibilant
slightly under range of hearing
voice ringing in my ears
failure
wrong
liar
fake
names that go on and on.
Nights on my knees
praying
screaming
absolution please
come my way…..
wish I may
I wish I might
I wish that I could die tonight…..
©July 11/20
Picture is my own.