Dear Sheila……

Dear Sheila…..
I am so sorry
did not mean to disturb
I tried to warn him
please
do not chase me
I swear
I did not mean to disturb
wait though
it was not me
it was he
driving the backhoe
please
do not hunt me down.
Mini me is most worried
she made me promise
to saints above
that you would not curse me
so long as I explained
I did not drive over your tombstone.
I understand
if you want to complain
the dude driving the fork lift
he is over there
his boss behind the counter
please stay out of my bunker.
All I did was drop by
delivering tomb stones in a day gone awry
graves should not be movable
no matter what they say.
Dear Sheila
please remain where you lay
I swear
not my fault
see that dinkle dork
follow him
screech
and haunt
let me get the hell out.
ยฉJuly 15/20
Picture via Pinterest

Author: Jay-lyn Doerksen

I am a single hard working mom in her 40's. I have always written poetry and I love words. I live with depression and its ups downs. This is a space where I can create and write all that I need to.

27 thoughts on “Dear Sheila……”

      1. Yes it was a satirical poem. My friend was delivering tombstones and the person unloading her ran over a tombstone and the name on it was Shelia. I took her story and ran with it

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  1. Oh my, that was funny! I really enjoyed it and you should do more!
    It reminded me of a thing my friend’s mother did with her car a few years back.
    She had a little ‘nip’ of whiskey before going to church on Sunday morning and then a little ‘nip’ before driving down the road to the grave yard to tend to her husband’s grave. Unfortunately for all concerned the grave yard is at the bottom of a rather steep incline and instead of putting her foot on the brake pedal and slowing down, she floored the gas and ploughed through the grave yard annihilating 6 head stones along the way and ended up ‘parked’ on the seventh grave which was situated right next to her husband’s.
    When we got there, along with the Vicar and quite a few on lookers, she was being breath tested by the police and was subsequently carted off in the back of a police car as she was 5 times over the limit. Apparently her little ‘nips’ were quite substantial and she had drunk half a bottle of whiskey from leaving the house to arriving at the grave yard some 2 1/2 hours later. She was charged with drunk and disorderly conduct, DUI, and causing criminal damage to church and public property. She was 84 at the time and she had her license revoked permanently and told to attend AA meetings or face a hefty fine and a possible prison sentence.
    She had no idea of the damage she had caused and she still insists to this day that the car was at fault because it had become possessed as she drove down the hill to the cemetery. She is insistent that a ghost made her do it!
    Wonder if she was called Shelia too? LOL
    (As a foot note, the grave stones were the only things damaged, not the graves themselves and her son paid to have them either repaired or replaced and no harm was really done in the long run. The families were very understanding!)

    Liked by 1 person

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