1st Day of School

It finally arrived.
The first day of school.
Tember woke me at 5:10 a.m. to ask me if he could have his shower.
I said sure. 
Reset my alarm for 6.
Tember finishes showering and gets ready.
I must have dozed for 5 minutes. Maybe.
Now Tember wants to learn how to make coffee.
When he says step by step…..he means step by step.
 
Step One: Go and empty the reusable coffee filter. Rinse it out and…..
Mom stop I want to go do that.
Step Two: Put the now cleaned filter back in coffee pot and grind beans.
Mom? How many beans do I put in? How much water? How many scoops of?
I will just get up and do it.
No mom I want to do it.
 
I showered and when I came out coffee was made.
Tember had eaten breakfast.
We went over his school supplies and what he had as he packed his bag.
I made his lunch.
Plunked down with my coffee then remembered I needed to take our first day of school picture.
Which is when it happened.
He is so big.
We went to the bathroom and stood back to back.
wp-15996759600874437872223051766148.jpg
I measured him with the tape measure.
64″. 5’4″. 3″ to go and he is as tall as I am.
He went back to his room and I sat down and cried.
He is growing up.
So damn fast.
And I do not like it.
Also he is not a shooter…..he is a steady grower. 
 
Drop off time was 8:40.
Tember and I as usual didn’t get out the door until 8:37.
Sit in car. 
 
I just had a realization. 
Tember is so much more secure in himself than I am.
He took a pink ruler to school. 
He has two fingers painted with pink nail polish.
Why?
Because. 
That is all.
And yet I was worried what others would think.
I was worried that he might be made fun of.
Damn it all yet another step of his maturity.
Which as we all know is something I have always stressed to him.
His individuality.
Being true to himself.
And I tried to change that this morning.
 
Back to sitting in the car.
We are chatting away about how we are never on time.
I could have us ready to go by 8:30 and yet it will be 8:40 by the time we arrive at the car.
It is not that far of a walk.
Wonder of wonders we made all the lights.
It was awesome.
Then I arrived at the 4 way stop.
I have never seen a line up like that before.
Not for taking kids to school.
Rode the brake the whole time. 
Was directed where to go and what to do.
I did not understand. Arg
I felt like an absolute idiot.
I was waiting to turn when I happened to look at the vehicle passing in front of me. 
And I see the mom leaning forward. 
Muttering.
Looking exactly as I did. 
Uncertain.
All of us parents are going through the exact same feelings of helplessness.
Whether your child is beginning or ending their school career this is a very different first day of school.
 
None of us know what is coming.
All we can do is go with the flow.
Our kids will settle into this new school norm quite quickly. 
We will settle into our drop off and pick up routines. 
And our kids will keep growing.
 
No matter how sometimes I wish I could turn time back. 
To my little guy starting his school career.
 
 
Have a wonderful Wednesday loves.
 
©Sept. 9/20
Pictures are my own
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