Autumn’s Tears

Always wrong
tears
slow seep
caress
salted lips
fear
pain
wishes
all out in front
no lies
no mistruths
everything is as I want it
everything is as I see it
everything is a lonely space
for while I reach
you pull away
leaving me searching for more.
What happened to happy ever afters?
Why am I so scarred
men would rather run
then see the nightmare sitting 
waiting 
with bated breath
for me to stumble
for me to fall
for like a lover
it will catch me
cradle me
while destroying me.
No longer willing to try.
No longer willing to not be a choice.
No longer willing…..
to accept less then
to being second place 
to being only useful when you want me.
There is more
a light
failed to be seen
your loss
not mine
so sorry
hope that graveyard of dreams
of broken wants
of destroyed needs
fill your nights
in ways 
I seem unable to.
Tip my hat.
Time to go.
So sorry.
So hard.
Bye bye.
I can no longer wait to be yours.
 
©Oct. 8/20
Picture is my own